A Dainty Diary of Lifting

This is not a post about my New Year’s resolutions


This post does not contain any New Year’s resolutions. I can prove it. Today is January 4th. I would have posted on the 1st if they truly were my resolutions, see?

In principle I support the idea of resolutioners. I started New Rules of Lifting for Women on January 4th – which means that the first time I set foot in the weight room was a year ago today. I stuck with it and made a positive change in my life. I encourage other people to do the same, especially when getting started is the hardest part. I still think that first squat with the empty bar felt like the heaviest squat I’ve ever done. So if other people start their journey at the beginning of a new year, I certainly cannot fault them. But that doesn’t mean I can’t complain about the fact that my otherwise quiet gym is overrun and I feel like I’m playing Resolutioner Bingo every time I go to workout.

  • B5: Shirtless dude.
  • I27: “Running before weights is the best way to lose weight.”
  • Free Space: Someone’s mom tells me I’m going to hurt my back deadlifting.
  • G51: A gentleman using the flat bench for something other than its intended purpose nearly decapitates himself.
  • O74: Old women in the locker room talking about how they just want to lose 10 lbs, but they ate pancakes for breakfast.


What do I win? More importantly, where do all of these resolutioners leave me? Am I forever branded as a resolutioner? I can’t exactly “resolve” to get fitter if I’m already doing that day in and day out, can I? And do I really want to become just another person who gets punched off with a bingo dabber? Not really. I mean, I had this big list and a blog post all ready. It was called “13 Goals for 2013” – see, they weren’t even resolutions, they were goals. Weight loss and fitness related goals that looked and felt like resolutions but were most assuredly not resolutions.

So, why am I ignoring all of my “goals” only four days into the New Year? Well for starters, I may have accidentally leaked some of my goals to the press. When people who are much smarter and stronger than myself heard about my resolutions goals, they very kindly told me that I was an overambitious idiot who was setting 5-year goals for a 1-year time frame. Then, I read a bunch of articles that confirmed my suspicion that resolutions are actually kind of stupid  and you shouldn’t make them. At that point, I had to take a step back and re-evaluate my definitely-not-resolutions-that-were-maybe-sort-of-resolutions.

To quote myself, “I can’t exactly “resolve” to get fitter if I’m already doing that day in and day out” and even if it takes me 10-years to achieve my goals, they won’t change. When I do reach those goals, I’ll set new goals. If I don’t reach those goals by December 31st but I made progress towards them, I won’t beat myself up – I’ll just continue working towards them. In that sense, I know I’m no longer a resolutioner because I know that what I want to change doesn’t change with the clock.

But there are still things in my life that need to change. If I’m going to make a New Year’s resolution, I don’t need to be hung up on my monster squat. I need to worry about the person who exists outside of the weightroom. I’ve expounded before on how lifting has improved my life, making me more confident changing how I see my body. In that sense, I’m just a statistic because people are beginning to take note that girls who rock the weightroom improve their lives. But lately I’ve been feeling like I live my life as two separate people: one at the gym and one everywhere else. When I’m in a squat rack I feel like I’m can conquer anything because I know how to squat and I can move a lot of weight. I’m equal to all of the guys in at my gym. But outside of the weightroom, I still feel like the same old me – who needs to be making New Year’s resolutions to be less stupid, fat and lazy. I feel like society is always telling me that overweight people are somehow less than people – and I’m included that group. And sometimes those voices are the loudest voices in my head, yelling unless it almost seems like it’s true. Where is that girl who deadlifts twice her bodyweight when I need her to convince me that I’m awesome? I’d really like to carry her with me all of the time.

Fitness-related goals are easy in a sense. They’re hard work, but it’s easy to set measurable indicators of your goals and progress. How do I set a measurable goal of improving my self confidence? I don’t know the answer to that, but I resolve to figure it out this year.


2 thoughts on “This is not a post about my New Year’s resolutions

  1. You get self confidence through hard work and dedication from there you will become more comfortable with yourself which translates to having more confidence. Im Isaac Hall a bodybuilder, I will follow you please do the same if you see fit too.

  2. “How do I set a measurable goal of improving my self confidence?” Think about it this way: what is your lack of self confidence keeping you from doing? How do you imagine your life being different if you had self-confidence? Then just do those things. Fake it until you make it.


    Also: you’re going to throw your back out deadlifting. Just thought you should know.

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