I apologize for all of the emotional mumbo jumbo and touchy feel-y nonsense, lately. If I wanted that kind of stuff in my life, I’d go to yoga. Instead, I compete in a sport where it is commonly accepted that chalk and foam rolling can fix just about anything.
But thank you to everyone who has been surprisingly supportive and not annoying. And thank you especially to the person who said, “If you’re legit depressed, an SSRI will help you. And you’re obviously having problems, so why don’t you just go to a doctor and fix it? Don’t be stupid.” which was apparently exactly what I needed to hear. So I requested an appointment with my GP, who I haven’t seen in 3 years. Om.
And apparently the simple step of requesting an appointment made me feel like maybe I do have some control over my life, so I woke up this morning and got my diet back on track Let’s call March a write-off and we’ll see where I’m at when the end of April rolls around. I’m aiming to be back at 148 by the time I pull 405 in 6 weeks. That should be do-able. Because omg, ice cream tastes so delicious but it makes me so sick! What an existential crisis.
Since I’d like to prove that I’m not all doom and gloom, let’s review a few funny things that happened this week:
First of all, I went and deadlifted on Tuesday. After my heavy set, one of the other women came up to me and said, “I think you’re amazing. I don’t know how you do it. My son tried to take me to the gym to show me how to lift weights and he acted like everything was so heavy and he was so strong. I said, “I’m not impressed. There’s a woman at my gym who does more”.”
Then yesterday there was a chick “squatting” in the rack beside me. Except that she would put 135lbs on her back, turn her head 90 degrees and start good morning-ing the weight. I didn’t say anything because that ain’t my style and whatever, I can weep for her spine in silence. But then Gary showed up and was talking to her while I was standing right there, and she said to him, “Oh ya, I’m still learning and working on my form” I just instinctively responded with, “Oh, if you’re looking to improve your form, you should stop turning to the side while squatting. It’s not meant to be a rotational movement.”
I think the death glare I received may have set off the nation’s early warning system for nuclear weapons.
“I’m just trying to make sure my back is straight.”
At this point I just walked away because I could see Gary making warning gestures at me from the corner of my eye and I’m not really interested in engaging anyone. But let’s think about this for a second: you’re trying to make sure your back is straight by twisting to the side? And even though you admit you’re still learning, you’re a huge bitch to someone who tries to help you? I hope you enjoy the gay village of Snap City.
She was back again today, doing her whole workout sideways. While glaring at me from across the gym. That’s fucking talent, man.
In other news, Gary told me yesterday, “Okay, but I can leg press 16 plates and you have to admit that’s good.” I laughed. Then I called him a bro. Then I went in to the gym today and did leg presses.
Seriously, I’ve done no accessory work all week and I just needed one of those days where I go in without a plan and the intention of dicking around. I just needed to remove all of the pressure and do whatever I feel like doing. Today it was leg presses and dumbbell bench press and 100 ball slams. I feel amazing.
When life gets you down, do ball slams. Om.