I feel like I’m always reading stuff online about how girls need their boyfriends to show them around the weight room. I absolutely cannot relate to that sentiment because I don’t even know what a boyfriend is. Miraculously, I somehow managed to figure out how to lift weights on my own. Maybe that’s why when I read stuff like, “I went and squatted without my boyfriend!” I just scoff and feel superior. Or maybe it’s because I’m a huge bitch.
Actually, I see guys bring their girlfriends into my gym all the time and I just want to scream, “YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE’S DOING.” Your boyfriend is a bro and if he just wanted to show you that move where you stick your head in his crotch, why didn’t you guys just stay home and workout in bed?
Maybe I’m a bitter spinster with too many cats, but it has been my observation that women would be a lot more empowered in the weight room if we focused more on self-education and stopped relying on our guys to teach us what to do. The assumption that guys know what they’re doing in the weight room because they’re guys, and we as women will benefit when they impart their wisdom to us does not exactly speak very highly towards the abilities of women. Does that not seem backwards to anyone else?
Or do I just sound like a man hater? Let’s be clear: my disdain for society is not limited to any particular age, race or gender.
Luckily, I have Gary. Who happens to be my gay boyfriend. We bitch about all the stupid things that we see at the gym together. We complain about how fat and weak we are. We have a crush on the hottest couple ever and every time they come to the gym, we get all googly eyed and talk about how hot they are. We argue about proper bench form and the best way to gain weight. And on Tuesdays we deadlift.
And in this relationship, I just so happen to be the supportive boyfriend. You see, Gary wants a 405lb deadlift before he moves away in August and I told him that I would help him get there. Then I told him he was going to stop exhausting himself during his warm-up and stop doing heavy sets of 10 every week. Now every time he says “I am old! Four plates is scary!” I reply with, “And I’m a 150lb woman. This is happening.”
Actually, all kidding aside, Gary and I are equals in the weightroom. We have different strengths and provide support for each other. When I told him I was coming in early today, he said “Okay. I’ll take off from work early and come deadlift with you.” After so much suckage last week and 345×2 on the agenda today, I was glad to have him there for a new 2RM.
And I’ll be even happier to have him next week when I’m supposed to pull 365×2. I don’t care if my boyfriend is there or not; I’m already terrified.
One of the things I made this weekend was Turkey Chili with Sweet Potatoes. Except that being Paleo now, my chili does not contain beans and chili without beans is really just tomato-based stew. How disappointing.