After sucking at life and lifting last week, I woke up feeling totally normal and optimistic on Saturday. Then my period started yesterday. Coincidence? Probably not.
In fact, I’m positive that I’ve mentioned this before: I tend to get blackhole depressed to the point of being suicidal and I binge eat the week before my period. Which is exactly what happened last week. I’ve never really considered it a problem, because a part of me believes that PMS is largely cultural and girls tend to use it as an excuse to be bitchy. But I am not necessarily more irritable than usual, I just eat a lot and cry a lot and think about offing myself so that I never have to get out of bed. Of course, I can see that’s not normal behavior but I can’t seem to reign it in. And then I start my period and can realize how much PMS was affecting me. Like that 140lb bench that I missed on Saturday and so was angry about? Must’ve been the PMS!
In all seriousness, I know most women don’t feel suicidal when they PMS. So I’m still waiting to hear back on when my appointment with the doctor will be, but now planning to go in for a chat on PMDD and to confess that I cried in class last month. And at work. Twice. And on the bus. Three times. And in the line-up at Tim Horton’s. (But only once.) And in the squat rack, with +200lbs on my back. I think that’s all?
A part of me is terrified that the Doc is going to suggest that I lose weight and exercise more – or worse, that I go see one of those awful therapists I saw as a teenager. But if she actually listens to me then maybe I can avoid having a repeat of last month, and that’d be a tremendous improvement for my training and my life in general.
The other thing I might mention during our chat is that my lower back has been feeling unbelievably tight. As in, I did some leg presses over the weekend and then my back seized up so bad that I laid down on the floor of the locker room and prayed for teleportation to my apartment. I woke up the next day feeling fine, foam rolled a bit, unsure whether I should be concerned or not.
ANYWAY. Spine or no spine, Texas Method and I are officially on a break. I’m not sure if this a Ross and Rachel type break up or what, but right now it’s not working for me. Considering I’ve been running this progression since the first week of October, I don’t even feel guilty about looking elsewhere.
Yet, I’ve been struggling with what to do until my meet on July 20th. I’m still love-hating Coan/Phillipi, but in competition I need to perform three lifts and I really need to dial in some focus for the other two. I considered Smolov but that’s not 16 weeks and doesn’t address both lifts. I am 24 and too impatient to run 5/3/1. So what does that leave?
If you said Sheiko: ding, ding, ding!
I’m going to try running the 16 week cycle to peak for this comp, starting with #29. But since I’m set on sticking with C/P, I’m only going to run the squat and bench portion. I already have a 2-stage deadlift that I’m trying to fix; somehow I doubt partials are the solution. YNDTP, etc.
This could be a really bad idea, or it could result in massive gainz. I can only take it one day at a time until I find out, so here is Week 1, Day 1:
Easy peasy and my back felt pretty good. Probably the best bench session I’ve had in a while and my squats felt a little off because I didn’t re-adjust my belt after last week’s fat attack but I still managed to sink ’em:
I did spend approximately forever in the gym. Which is totally fine because today’s a holiday and since I’ll be unemployed and done school on April 23, I have all the time in the world to train!
Another thing I need to think about is my weight, because I gained 19lbs by stress eating for 10 days! Hard gainers take note: the trick is to eat until you hate yourself and then eat some more. Proof my mental health has stabilized: that number isn’t freaking me out and I’ve dropped 8lbs since Saturday by watching my carbs and calories.
Tonight I am having the dieter’s version of “meat slop” aka “deconstructed cabbage role”, which is one of my standard meals when trying to lose weight. I hadn’t made this in a while, but am trying to use ingredients I have on hand since I am trying to tighten my belt both literally and figuratively.
It’s one of those meals that is totally unphotogenic: 1/2lb of turkey brest meat, chopped and mixed with steamed & shredded cabbage and passati. I cannot take credit for this meal, since the “recipe” was given to me by a friend, but since I don’t cook that actually means it’s fucking delicious. I’m kind of excited.
I’m also running a little science experiment. I currently have a container of what appears to be piss sitting in my cupboard and hopefully by next week it will be kombucha.