A Dainty Diary of Lifting

Food Journal Day 9

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I considered just posting my food log without commentary today, but then I realized that I’m supposed to be writing down a stupid self-affirmation every day and that just made me angry. I am in a really bad mood. I went to a dinner party last night and although I knew I ate a little more bread & brie than I should, I enjoyed it and didn’t think that I was excessive. Turns out I was just one meal away from being back over 170lbs – which made me cry, even though that’s totally irrational.

I just feel very frustrated with my weight lately, whether it’s justifiable or not. It seems like it takes so much work over a sustained period of time just to maintain a weight that is too heavy for a short little woman – and only one mistake to put on 5 or 10 or 20lbs. I don’t feel like I look good and at some point I need to accept that I’m not bloated, I’m just fat.

So that’s discouraging.

You know what though? At least my body is not totally stupid.I woke up this morning obviously not hungry a result of eating last night. So that’s what I did well: (3) Today I did a really good job of eating when I was physically hungry. Because otherwise it was one of those days when I just wanted to starve myself or say fuck it and eat junk food with abandon. I’ve had to remind myself several times today that I am neither of those people. I am a responsible adult who is capable of feeding herself properly, regardless of the number on the scale.

Food Diary

9:30 – Black Coffee

11:45 – Brunch

  • 1 cupped handful of cottage cheese
  • 1/2 tbsp of cocoa powder
  • 6 cherry tomatoes
  • 4 thumbs of cucumber
  • 1 fist-sized yellow bell pepper
  • 1 granny smith apple
  • 2 thumbs of almond-hazelnut butter
  • 1 tbsp fish oil
  • probiotic caps
  • 1 cup of sugar plum spice tea

5:45 – Supper

  • 1 bison sausage, casing removed
  • 1/2 a head of red cabbage, steamed
  • 1 medium carrot, steamed
  • 1/2 cup of primevera
  • 23 g R/S almonds

8:30 – Super shake

  • 1 banana
  • 1 scoop of whey
  • 1 cupped handful of spinach
  • 1/4 avocado
  • 1/8 cup cocoa powder
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • splash of vanilla

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