I feel like I’m in a weird place right now. I want to get my weight down, but it just seems impossible because I also want to eat everything in sight, but especially all of the chocolate in the world and then some. And no matter what I do, I feel crappy about my body for 2 weeks of the month and more optimistic the other 2. I resent being a woman.
I do recognize that I am feeling kind of checked out from PNLE. I am still aiming to complete my habits and whatnot but I just feel like I’ve made zero progress in terms of body composition and drastically regressed in terms of strength… and I don’t feel like the amount of effort that I’ve put in has yielded the results I was expecting, so that’s making it difficult to feel engaged.
It doesn’t help that I am just feeling lazy in general these past couple of days. I just want to subsist off almonds and green apples because I am currently lacking the motivation to buy groceries or cook anything creative. All I do is whine. I infuriate myself.
Of course, the upside of eating everything in my cupboards is that I’ve been killing it in terms of lifting. Lately all I’ve wanted to do is squat. I’ve had a couple of solid sessions this week – 235×4 today – and am reluctantly thinking that maybe I’ve rekindled my squatting mojo. Knock on wood.
Breakfast – “Cereal”
- 1 green apple
- 2 spoonfuls walnut pieces
- 2 thumbs almonds
- 1 thumb shredded coconut
- Cupped handful of almond milk
- 1 tbsp fish oil
- 2 cups black coffee
11:40 – 1 thumb 99% dark chocolate
1:40 – Lunch
- 1 fist-sized serving beef stew
- 2 cupped handfuls steamed cauliflower
- 1 granny smith apple
- 2 thumbs almond butter
- 1 thumb 99% dark chocolate
- 1 cupped handful walnut pieces
- A very, very (very) generous drizzle of honey
19:00 – Supper @ The Albion rooms
- Brussel Sprouts with Feta and Panchetta
- Cornish Hen with roasted carrots & duck fat potatoes
O.M.G. This meal was so, so so, so, so amazing.
21:44 – Snack
- 160g trail mix (peitas, almonds, cranberries & dark chocolate chips)
- 1 cup of decaf coffee