A Dainty Diary of Lifting

Squat PR and goal setting

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I feel like today has been a bit of a whirlwind. I start off the day with a job interview, boring but exhausting work stuff happened, and then I finished with an all-time squat PR.

I actually can’t believe that happened. The last time I got a 5RM squat PR was the day I turned 24. One of my coworkers guessed my age to be 32 today, and it hasn’t quite been 8 years since my last squat PR today, but damned if it doesn’t feel like it. Best of all: no hip pain. And they didn’t even look that difficult (despite how they may have felt). 

I also benched 127.5 x5 which was another all-time PR… and I did it three times… and that’s another PR that seems kind of impossible. For about the first time ever, I feel like my bench is actually progressing. I haven’t been recording it because I don’t want to jinx myself, but I probably should take a video to make sure my heels are fully down and my butt isn’t popping up.

The one area where I am not feeling so hot is my deadlift. I pulled 315×3 last Saturday and could not have got a fourth. Not entirely sure what sort of programming I want to do leading up to meet, but historically 5s and 3s are not where I make my best deadlift progress, so I need to figure that out.

Anyway, this was a good way to start off my workouts for my first week of PNLE. My coach wrote to me and said proper eating would support my powerlifting, so I do feel like she gets it, and I feel better having set up a routine that actually motivates me to get into the gym. (Okay, so I dragged my feet a bit at the possibility of failing 275×5, but that still beats glute bridge intervals on a bosu ball any day.)

Of course, in the spirit of PNLE, my diet has not been completely revamped in the first week. I still ate a smore sandwich cookie at lunch today. And I may have eaten an entire box of muesli breakfast pitas on Tuesday…. but at least now I know now to bring them into the house again? I can consume sprouted grain English muffins responsibly, instead.

 Last year, my first PNLE habit was to take fish oil. I’m trying to re-adopt that habit, although it’s not my first habit in the program this time around. I am supposed to pick one 5-10 minutes “healthy” action and implement it each day. On Monday I bought a water bottle for my apartment. Several days this week I’ve committed to packing my lunch for the next day at 8 am and then procrastinated on it as long as humanly possible in the evenings – but at least it got done. Tomorrow I am going to the farmer’s market, which I’ve been meaning to do all summer. And today I am writing this blog post.

The idea behind these actions and the accompanying actions is to evaluate and increase my current capacity for change. As much as I feel like I am ready to lose weight, I am not sure I’m ready for the actual change that will take in my life. Quite simply: I gained a lot of weight out of sheer laziness, and even if I don’t feel good about it, it seems a lot easier than the alternatives.

So where do I want to be in a year from now? I want to be under 150lbs without feeling fat. I want to feel like I am in control of my diet, without feeling restricted. I want to be lifting consistently and focusing on my lifts and not the scale, which I have always done in the past. I want to be cooking more for myself, doing meal prep and spending less on groceries. The things is… I kind of want that last one to just happen magically overnight. Aren’t there fairies that can do that for me in my sleep? Am I really willing to put in the effort to change if those fairies don’t exist? Because some of those things seem like a lot of work, if they’re even possible. I mean, I’ve been under 150lbs and I still felt like a landwhale. I still saw myself as being fat. And I know I shouldn’t eat past the point of fullness, but it’s so reassuring when I’m feeling down! Overall, this all seems really hard.

But here’s the thing: I really didn’t feel like packing my lunch any night this week, and yet I still managed to do it. When it was done, I felt so much better AND I felt better the next day because I had satisfying meals and I didn’t have to run to the grocery store for a bunch of impulse buys. I can put in the work, I just need to take it one small step at a time. And maybe by the time I’m actually 32, I’ll have everything figured out – and maybe I’ll be squatting the moon. Is that an unrealistic goal?



One thought on “Squat PR and goal setting

  1. Those squats looked excellent, very comfortable! Good luck with your new program 🙂

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