Sunday evening, and I am overdue for a blog update, so I feel like I need to get on it. Although… I am feeling kind of sleepy after eating some bison sausage and a giant ass salad for dinner.
I am currently obsessed with salad. I got a really good spring mix with dill at the farmer’s market yesterday, and some incredibly flavorful cherry tomatoes. Tomato season is the most wonderful time of the year! I even stopped in at the health food store and bought sprouts, and I made an apple cider vinaigrette. Salad is so much more fun when it’s actually fresh and feels fancy.
I picked up some other produce at the farmer’s market – more kirby cucumbers, and some raspberries that I used to make Raspberry Coconut Chia Popsicles. For my “5-minute action” today, I made a cottage pie with some potatoes and beans from the farmer’s market, just so I would have some healthy backup meals in the freezer.
To be honest, I haven’t been dying to update my blog. I feel like things are on track right now – well… maybe not the loneliness & self-confidence aspects, but I am pretty good at just shoving those down deeper. And I’ve had some anxiety this week, but the long weekend seems to be helping with that.
But I do feel like PNLE has started off well. This is the end of my second week, and I have 100% compliance so far, which is reassuring. More importantly, it’s two weeks since I’ve had a binge eating episode. That might be a record. I’ve caught myself trying to slip down that slope a couple of times, but I keep telling myself that I am open to change, and instead of putting the money towards chocolate and ice cream, I’ve been putting it towards bills or into savings. On Wednesday, after an unfortunate comedy of errors, I ended up eating a piece of zucchini cake and some salad for lunch. Otherwise all of my meals have included a protein and a veg, so I feel okay.
Yesterday was my first weigh-in and my “before picture” day, if you will. I was kind of surprised. From the front and from the side, I look better than I expected, and from the back I look worse. I don’t have any mirrors in my apartment, so there is definitely a disconnect between how I see myself and I how I actually look. My weight has been back up and hovering around 200lbs, and in my head I just see myself as being a total beach ball. I have weight to lose, but looking at those pictures, I can really appreciate that I look better at this weight with muscle than I did without. And I thought my butt was out of control to begin with, but it was still bigger than expected. All in all, it is what it is. I can only move forward.
Tomorrow, I start my second habit – and the first real nutritional habit. It’s going to be eating slowly. Last year this habit was a real light bulb moment for me. I am not good at chewing my food. I am very good at inhaling everything on my plate as fast as possible – and I am especially good at shoving junk food into my face as quickly as humanly possible. I know I can do this, and I need to practice. I was kind of having fun with the 5-minute action habit, though. Not sure I’m ready to leave it behind!
My training is still on track. Friday was a great day. Actually, it was horrible, but I squatted 280×5 which is an all-time 5RM for me.
This video does not accurately convey how hard these squats were. The long pause between the 4th and 5th reps was my internal struggle to decide whether to even attempt the 5th rep, but I got it! And I am still feeling a bit beat up and deadlifting yesterday felt terrible, but THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT I GOT IT. And soon I will squat 315, or I will die trying.
This is what I’ve been doing for programming, which I have mapped out until mid September, about a month before my meet in October:
I took the accessory work from one of Dave Tate’s programs. I am still not at a point where I need advanced programming on my main lifts, but his accessory work had a good balance of “things I want to do and things that I should be doing,” and having written out a structured program has really helped my attitude towards the gym. I don’t go in and dick around and then leave when I’m just feeling lazy. I actually leave feeling like I’ve had a good workout at the end, without totally killing myself. Squatting excepted. That might just kill me this week.