A Dainty Diary of Lifting

Being eighty four


This morning I weighed in at 83.4 kg.

That’s a really big freakin’ deal. I signed up to compete in a meet at 72kg, which has historically been my weight class. And yet… I’ve spent my first month of PNLE just hoping to get down into the 84kg weight class.

Well, now I’m under 84kg and I’m exactly 2 months out from my meet.

I am giving myself permission not to aim for 72kg. Actually, that’s not so much permission as an order.

There is a very loud voice that is currently occupying my head and it’s screaming “You can do it. Losing 12kg in two months is far from impossible. Just lose 10kg and then waterload the rest of the way! You’re going to show up weighing 65kg and feel totally bummed out about competing in a fat girl class. You’re going to feel really disappointed in yourself when your wilks is lower than your last meet because you gained weight. Just skip breakfast. And lunch. And carbs. And basically every food you enjoy and you’ll get there.”

Dear voice: you are being totally unreasonable. Please shut up.

I keep forcing my rational voice to pipe up:

I could cut to 72kg in 2 months, but I’d probably be embarrassingly weak by the time I got there.  I probably will not hit a 315lb squat if I step on to the platform weighing 72kg, and that squat is my only real goal for the meet apart from qualifying for provincials.

I could waterload before the meet, but I’ve got to take the Greyhound to the meet on Friday. Do I really want to be waterloading when I’m trapped on a bus for several hours? That is a pretty firm “no” in my mind. That sounds even worse than waterloading during final exams, and I’ve done that.

Plus, I paid a ton of money to PNLE so that I could stop repeating all of these futile exercises in dieting! I could take ephedrine or I could starve myself or I could go super low carb… but that just seems like a whole lot of wasted energy. To be honest, I just feel tired every time I think about trying to make weight. If I really wanted to participate in competitive dieting, I’d do bikini competitions. And I don’t see that happening any time soon.

Besides – what am I going to do if I hit the platform at 72kg? I’ve been there before and I know exactly how it goes: starve myself down to competition weight, knock out some modest PRs on the platform and then spend several weeks binging on burgers and ice cream and generally feeling very unwell and hitting awful numbers in the gym. Can’t say I’m terribly interested in falling down that hole again.

So this is a letter to myself, specifically the version of myself that will have to compete on October 18


You are probably not going to make weight. It’s ok. You can compete in 84kg and you might weigh 81kg and you might weight 75kg. You might even way 72.1kg, but whatever you weigh, you’ll do just fine.

Remember where you were six months ago? You’ve lost a ton of weight since then. You actually leave your house. You aren’t binge eating weekly. You’re cooking and eating vegetables regularly. Six months spent ignoring your life isn’t undone overnight, but you’ve already made great progress.

You’ll have an awesome meet, because you’ve been doing so many awesome things to prepare. You’ve been going to the gym regularly for months now! You’ve been following actual programming WITH ACCESSORY WORK! You’ve been making good food choice >90% of the time. You’ve been eating slowly and you stop eating when you’re no longer hungry. You don’t buy lunch twice a week because you actually plan what you’re going to eat and do some meal prep.

Most importantly: You will keep doing all of those things once this meet is over. And if you keep doing all of those things, you will eventually get your weight below 72kg. Best of all, you won’t have a massive rebound like you’ve had in the past, because you didn’t have to starve yourself to get there. You deserve to cut yourself some slack, by giving yourself the time and the credit to get where you want to be.

So here’s what you need to focus on: Squat 315lbs. Maybe squat more if you’re feeling ambitious. Don’t bomb out. Don’t accidentally poop in your singlet while deadlifting. Get a total of 352.5kg and qualify for provincials. Maybe in six weeks you’ll be ready to compete at 72kg. Maybe you won’t be. It really doesn’t matter to anyone but you, and as long as you keep lifting, recovering and eating well, you’ll be a rockstar today and in the future.


8 thoughts on “Being eighty four

  1. a solid plan. stick to it, just like you map out in this post, and I’m sure the long-term goals will be worth it.

  2. keep in mind that there’s a quirk in the OPA rules that doesn’t follow the CPU rules for nationals qualifying. That is, if you qualify as an 84 for provincials, you can only lift at 84 or 84+ (provided you meet that qt as well), you can’t lift as a 72 at provincials since you haven’t made a 72 kg QT. It isn’t the same as qualifying for nationals where if you qualify at one weight class, you can lift in any wt class at nationals, higher or lower. That being said, I wouldn’t derail your weight management goals just because the OPA hasn’t seen fit to align their provincial qualification rules with the CPU national meet qualification rules. The bigger picture is more important.

    • Thanks for the comment. I did not actually know this and it kind of kills my vibe. I somewhat have my doubts about my ability to qualify at 84 which is part of why I wanted to get down in the first place. Maybe I don’t have to do provincials for another year…

  3. Excellent plan. Much better to go out there and smash numbers you’re happy with rather than cut weight and not perform as best you know you can.

  4. I was an 84 in my last comp… and it rocked. I was only 75 kilos but chose not to worry about the weight cut for all the same reasons you listed above. It was SOOOOOOOOOO much more enjoyable! And I didn’t come home ready to eat my house.

    • I knew you’d lifted “with the big girls” and I gotta say, I’ve been carrying that fact with me. You seemed so chill about it, and even posting that selfie right afterwards, I thought your atittude and headspace were so good. And then I started seeing more ladies who made comments that really echoed some of your IG comments. So, I am striving to be radass like you!!

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