That is a video of me squatting 295×1 in a pink belt and then 295×3 in my black belt. Not shown: I attempted 315 to try and make myself feel better but instead I just got stapled.
Then I failed on bench!
I think part of this is mental. This week should have been my worst week of the month, although I haven’t felt hormonal and I am late, so who the fuck knows what my body is doing. Plus, my belt changes in between sets because the pink one wasn’t feeling tight enough, but it was also digging into my side, and all in all I just lost the head game before anything else.
And, I kind of knew all week that I wasn’t feeling it. I booked my hotel for the meet on Thursday and then said, “Well, even if I fail my squats tomorrow, I’m still doing the meet.” And the thought of bailing did cross my mind after my attempt at 315, but too bad. I’m committed.
The problem is that I’m not quite sure how to proceed, because I’m at that point where I could just fuck around for months, feel frustrated and give up. (That’s what happened the last time I hit this point.)
I am debating whether I should re-attempt 295×5 next week. I could max test on Sunday (give myself Saturday to recover), and then fully reset on Monday. Or I could just reset and start triples on Monday without max testing.
One factor that I’m trying to take into account is the fact that I’ve lost some weight since starting PNLE. I am down 12lbs since my first weigh in 4 weeks ago. I am starting to see my waist and fit into my clothes again! Yay! That’s totally on track. But if I continue to lose weight at this pace (which the vain part of my mind if kind of hoping for) then max testing 8 weeks before a meet serves no real purpose.
On the other hand, I helped someone with their deadlift form and they repaid me with a massive bag of chocolate covered pretzels. So there is no way I will be losing weight while those are in my possession (although, they probably won’t last very long, given my past track record for chocolate-covered pretzel consumption).